Coffee Hipster

qkme.me

Yes. I have turned into a coffee hipster–but not of the Starbucks, nor the more recent local coffee shop, variety. No, in true hipster fashion, I’ve gone back quite a bit further in time to attain my hipster status. I recently purchased some new coffee-making equipment (that you’ve probably never heard of) on Amazon, and I absolutely love making and drinking my coffee now.

I liked drinking coffee made from plain ole Folgers grounds in our Kitchen Aid drip machine, but knew I was settling (and I poured the creamer to it). See, I’d had good coffee before: beans from trees high on a mountain; roasted expertly; ground fresh; brewed with piping hot water; served in flavorless vessels. However, I was content to have my Folgers, drip coffee. That is, until I started to think about post-collapse, self-sustained living. Now, some of you may think, “Ryan, come on, if society is ever in bad shape or collapsed, you won’t be able to get coffee beans. Use your head, man.” You’re correct. If the event of societal collapse, I won’t be able to get coffee beans. Anticipating this, I have discovered chicory, an excellent, caffeine-free coffee substitute which grows bountifully where I live. So, I have a coffee back-up. Now, onto the implements which will allow me to enjoy coffee, either of the traditional or chicory variety, no matter what occurs.

chefscatalog.com

First of all, I wanted a well-built, dependable, capable hand-crank coffee grinder. After examining several such items and reading many more customer reviews, I decided on the Kyocera ceramic coffee grinder. It is small, so storage is not a problem. It is a handsome little thing, so if we don’t want to store it, it doesn’t look bad at all sitting on the counter-top. Putting the grinder together was as simple as could be. The grind can be set to either course or fine by adjusting a washer on the grind wheel. As soon as it came in, I set the grind to fine and ground some tiramisu-flavored coffee beans my parents gave me. The wonderful smell from the fresh grounds was amazing and, once the brewing commenced, the lovely scent filled the kitchen. Grinding enough coffee to brew an entire pot takes no more than 90 seconds, even if grinding slowly. The crank isn’t hard to turn at all, either. A child could grind coffee with this. In every aspect, I was very pleased. “But, Ryan, why not buy an electric coffee grinder? Why go through the trouble of grinding it by hand?” I’m glad you asked. I answer your question with another question: what if the electricity goes out? If that happens, I can still grind fresh coffee. But, how will I brew it in the event of a power outage? Well, that’s why my next purchase was necessary.

coffee-maker-review.net

Percolators have been around for many years. A British count invented the percolation method in the 1700s, and an American perfected the stove-top model in 1889. Percolators lost popularity in the 1970s when drip coffee makers came about. However, when the electricity is out, all one needs for a great pot of coffee is a percolator and a gas stove or a burner on a gas grill. An added benefit of percolating coffee is the fact that the process causes the coffee aroma to permeate the room to an even greater degree than drip machines. My first pot of perked coffee was absolutely delightful. I ground some organic Peru Cuzco City Brew beans and fixed 8 cups. I could definitely taste a difference in perked coffee. After the first cup, I decided to try some with much less creamer. It was even more delicious! The third cup, I drank black, and it was even better. No more cream for this guy.

Yes, it may take me a bit longer to grind my beans. Yes, your coffee made in a drip machine will be ready before my percolator finishes up. However, my house will smell better, my coffee will be hotter, I believe my coffee will taste better, and I will be enjoying a pot when the next winter storm blows through and knocks out the power while you are shivering, lamenting the fact that you have no way to brew a hot, delicious pot of fresh ground coffee. If you can safely make the drive, come on over to my house and I’ll give you a cup.

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Thursday Theater #5

“Right now we’re getting hit pretty good with a green laser.”

Thursday Theater #4

My wife keeps asking me what I want for Christmas. Honey, I’ll take one of these.

Thursday Theater #3

Can I see them? Whoa! Wow! Can I touch them? No!

Thursday Theater #2

I suppose I started Thursday Theater at a bad time, because TT#2 should have been posted on Thanksgiving Day. I decided not to contribute to the interwebz on that day. Instead, I chose to spend as much time with family and friends (and food) as possible. So, here’s TT#2. I know you’ve been sick with anticipation.

 

Thursday Theater #1

I started this a few years ago on another blog, but since those old Thursday Theaters no longer exist, please allow me to begin anew by labeling this installment as the first.

A beautiful song from two talented brothers:

And a hilarious offering from pixelspersecond detailing the unquestionable importance of cats on the interwebs:

We Can Drive It Home With No Taillights

On the way home from class tonight, on the dark and lonely Hal Rogers Parkway, I approached a phantom. I could see above it, beneath it, and all around it, but I couldn’t see it. The wet, illuminated road in front of it struck me as so eerie, so haunting. I could almost discern it, but all I was sure of was where it was a moment before.  It seemed that all light conspired to hide it in the shadows. I felt betrayed by the cloud-diffused moonlight, the green and white and yellow signs on the roadside, and the path of road reflectors laid out before me. It was a wraith, a blurred cloud of gray you see in the corner of your eye, only to disappear into your imagination the moment you turn your head to focus upon it.

As I gained ground, its outline came into view. I almost tapped my brakes so I could feel this strange sensation for a few miles more. But my desire to get home was greater, so steadily on I drove. We reached a stretch of road with a passing lane, and I moved to go around it. It was an early 2000s Pontiac—dark blue, with a Clay County license plate. Even now, I wonder if it haunted anyone else tonight. Did anyone else glance in the driver’s side window on their way by, just to make sure there was someone—something—behind the wheel piloting this phantasmagoric sedan? Did their heart skip a beat like mine?

Playing Clicks & Tracks

I searched all over the interwebs for quite some time to find a definitive answer to this question: How do I run clicks and tracks live? Maybe my google-fu is lacking but I could never find a satisfactory answer to the question. So, I’m sharing with the web my answer to the question, hoping others who could never find an answer will find their way here.

Clicks

Clicks, or a click track, or a metronome, is a way to keep time whilst playing a musical instrument. In my case, that instrument is the drum kit. I have horrible timing (a terrible trait for a drummer), so I need to play to clicks anyway. But I wanted to run them in tandem with tracks for our songs.

Tracks

Live tracks back up the band with either:

a.) instruments not played live, or

b.) additional guitars, drums, vocals, etc.

Tracks really fill up the sound for live performances, adding dynamics otherwise impossible to accomplish apart from hiring additional musicians to play gigs. What band has the money to do that? Not us, so we utilize live tracks.

Clicks & Tracks

You can’t have tracks without clicks (unless you can play in perfect timing). Furthermore, you must have a way to play them simultaneously. I knew this meant panning them to separate sides (Left and Right, or L and R), but didn’t know how to split them and then return their signal to both left and right speakers. It wouldn’t be any benefit to live performances to have the tracks only coming through the left or right speakers.

So, after much research, contemplation, consideration, rumination, prayer and fasting, I ordered what I thought would do the trick.

The Goods

  • iPod – This plays the click and tracks. I panned the clicks to the left, tracks to the right.
  • Splitter cable – I use a 1/8″ TRS to dual 1/4″ TS cable (Amazon listing). This runs out of the iPod to …
  • Mixing board – a Behringer Xenyx 802 (Amazon); left (clicks) to channel 3/4 (panned hard left), right (tracks) to channel 5/6 (panned hard right). Then, run 1/4″ cables out of the left and right outputs to …
  • Dual Direct Box – this. That’s right. 2 DIs in one enclosure. Finally, run out (XLR) of the DI with your separate and balanced channels to a snake or mixer.

At this point, you’ve got it, but like me, you may want to use this setup for your monitor. I’m a drummer. I don’t move around, so I don’t need an expensive wireless in-ear monitoring system. So, I use the 802.

Monitoring

The left aux return input (1/4″) on the 802 also acts as a mono input, so I use it for my monitor return. Out of the snake to the 802, a few adjustments to the aux and headphone volume knobs, and you’ve got monitors, clicks and tracks. I run these out of the headphone jack into an extender, then into my earbuds.

Conclusion

That’s it, folks. You’ve got balanced clicks and tracks, plus your monitor mix, on a budget (about $100). Your drumming will improve with the clicks, and the audience will fall in love with the full sound of your band.